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CalmHandoff

Why messages can't be edited or deleted

The one rule that makes the record worth anything.

Nobody can edit or delete a message. Not you, not your co-parent, not us.

Every message is appended to a chain where each entry is fingerprinted together with the one before it. Changing an old message would break every fingerprint after it, which is what makes the record worth relying on. The database itself refuses updates and deletions — it isn't a rule in the app that could be worked around.

What this means in practice

  • Read it once before you send it. Family Pro's tone check is there for exactly this.
  • A message sent in anger stays. So does a kind one.
  • If you got a fact wrong, send a correction. Both remain, which is honest and usually reads better anyway.

Closing your account removes your data (see Deleting your account), but nothing lets one parent quietly remove a single message from a shared history.

Did this answer your question?

If not, email support@calmhandoff.com and say what you were trying to do. A person reads every message, usually within one business day.

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